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Made in America

Made in America
Let me preface by acknowledging my baby girl is heaven sent. A perfect healthy little angel in every aspect. And yet, she has the capacity to bring grown men to tears through the awesome power of her malodorously prolific solid waste production. I realize I must be delusional, but I’d swear she expels her own body weight in crap every day. My son, a newly minted 3 year old, is a skilled practitioner in his own right but at least he’s now in the waste disposal business on his own(that means toilet trained folks). During a recent lull in my defecation duty I wondered if there could be some way to harness the power of her poo.

From within the dark recesses of my mind manifested my compelling epiphany. Ideally, through the miracle of science, there are powerful gases contained in her potent packages that could be converted into a renewable energy resource. Why not capture this on a larger scale? And so, the Power of Poo initiative aka P.O.P. was born.

Think of it. Millions of young children collectively filling their diapers everyday with landfills worth of renewable energy gold. Your little bundle of joy could really be worth a bundle of dough…everyday! And speaking of landfills, those mountains of trash will no longer bear the stigma of being labeled society’s waste heap but instead be seen as freedom mountains. I propose the parents in this country form an independent energy provider consortium and present this idea to the President. We’ll need an official spokesperson of course. I would suggest a local congressman since we’ll need a person who’s very familiar with shoveling the stuff in mass quantities. Who knows? This could turn out to be the first truly shovel ready project for the nation in the 21st century.

In the meantime, below are some useful links about changing diapers: