A top 10 list for just about anything could be considered clickbait. And yet, weeding out the worst of Halloween candy walks up to the edge of being an essential public service. If one must consume sugar laden treats that conspire to erode one’s pearly whites, at least let them be quality.
1. Candy Corn
If ever one needed proof of the existence of pure evil, look no further than these horrid confections. Think of old melted crayons combined with corn syrup.
Credit: PR Newswire
2. Necco Wafers
Originating in 1847, one can only guess the flavor of sweetened chalk was quite popular in the 19th century. Alas, times have changed.
Credit: APAP Photo/Charles Krupa
3. Good & Plenty
Another 19th century creation, the candy is a narrow cylinder of sweet black licorice, coated in hard candy pink and white shells forming capsule shapes. The taste? Well, they closely remind one of the awful sweetened kid’s toothpaste one had to endure at the dentist.
Good riddance.
4. Lemonhead
The “merits” of this candy include the taste of chemical lemon and the potential of a shattered tooth.
All sorts of nope.
5. Milk Duds
Whenever a dentist warns you to avoid sticky candy, Milk Duds rise to the top of the list. And if you wear braces, then it’s game over.
Better pack some toothpicks.
6. Hot Tamales
The key ingredients in Hot Tamales are sugar and corn syrup plus it contains Red 40 for the dye. Maybe eat a hot pepper instead?
Stick to real tamales.
7. Twizzlers
Licorice never tops the list for candy. One must give credit to Twizzlers for attempting to rebrand a lackluster choice.
Much like Milk Duds, toothpick worthy.
8. Werther’s Original
Werther’s Original epitomize classic hard candy that’s better suited for a retirement home.
Save these for Grandpa.
9. Tootsie Roll Pops
Tootsie Roll pops contain sugar, corn syrup, and partially hydrogenated oils to give them their flavor and textures. This combination can lead to a rapid sugar rise and crash. Plus the tootsie roll part of the lollipop is also a contender for one of the stickiest candies available.
Did you know that Tootsie rolls don’t contain chocolate?
10. Laffy Taffy – Banana flavor
Taffy is inherently a sticky mess. But there are an assortment of flavors that make it range from tolerable to downright tasty. Yet artificial banana flavor can leave one pondering the existence of the universe itself.
Not aPEELing.
Did we get it right? What would be on your list for the worst Halloween candy?
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