Fatherhood

A Fatherhood Story

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For me, the word revolution has always conjured up images of violent epic battles fought for a noble cause. Revolutionaries would sacrifice nearly everything to ensure a better future for themselves and generations to follow. As for fatherhood, the revolution really begins from within. The battle waged is fought in the mind between one’s independent self and the father to be. Stress laden thoughts, sleepless nights, irrational fears and more can all be attributed to the enormous change an expectant father must attempt to grasp in a small window of time. Yet similar to every revolution, one moment in history can be traced to the life changing catalyst that sparked the call to action. For most Dads I would guess the revolution began not with a bang but rather the soft spoken words, “Honey, I’m pregnant.” [ Insert expectant Dad’s primal scream here]

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Toys Reflect Our Story

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Toys. What are toys really? An extension of our imagination? A catalyst for escape to a playful world where boundaries do not exist? The embodiment of child like wonder? I suspect they represent many of these ideas and more. But as a parent with young kids, toys can be a bridge from one generation to the next. Such is my experience lately when going to Toy Stores with my children.

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When Mommy’s Out of Town

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Not many phrases rattle me these days. Perhaps it comes with age or maybe it’s the unique perspective one gains when taking care of young children. You learn to adapt and bounce back when challenges arise. To do otherwise would mean a systematic breakdown of the fragile foundation being built each day by a family. Yet when my wife utters the words “I have to go out of town a few days for work”, the chain reaction can be palpable. My inner voice screams “Run for your life! All is lost! Save yourself!” Yet on the outside, I remain composed. If it were not for the telltale signs of stress courtesy of gray hairs, you’d think I was channeling Spock from Star Trek. Besides, the little people can sense when Mommy or Daddy’s armor is cracking. Having a plan of action at the deep end of the pool will determine whether you sink or swim.

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Fathers Are Not Needed

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Becoming a parent can be an overwhelming experience filled with a range of emotions swinging wildly from sheer joy to deep depression. Fatherhood, in particular, often arrives unexpectedly even to those who have planned for it with their significant other. You may be asking “why the traumatic reaction to a predetermined choice?” I’d respond with the question “how can one prepare for an experience so uniquely personal in nature?”

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Tray Chaney talks about Fatherhood

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Tray Chaney is a talented artist who’s first big break was landing the role of Poot from HBO’s critically acclaimed series “The Wire”. Tray also happens to be a writer and upcoming rap artist. His latest single titled “Fatherhood”, an inspired message for men to be responsible fathers, has struck a chord with men and women alike across the Social Media spectrum. In fact, the music video has the potential to go viral. I decided to reach out to Tray Chaney to interview him about the origin of the song, his thoughts about fatherhood and more.

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How Fatherhood and Jello are Related

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For me, 2006 was the year that changed everything. A nine month odyssey of introspection, fear, and discovery that would shake me to my very core. To state that I was mentally and emotionally unprepared for my upcoming new role in life would be an understatement. I was a mess pure and simple. A wobbling bowl of green jello barely held together by skin and bones. Maybe that’s why Bill Cosby, America’s TV Dad, became a spokesperson for Jello products. A tacit nod to all new Dads who’ve gone through this rite of passage. The path that leads to Father’s Day.

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Playschool: The Sequel

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I took my 2 year old daughter to her playschool a few weeks ago. In many ways it was a blast from the past as I had taken my now “big boy” 4 year old son to the very same location when he was two years of age. The owners/operators were still the familiar friendly duo of ladies singing tunes, creating crafts, doling out snacks, and finishing up with story time. Even the parents in attendance gave me a striking feeling of deja vu as the faces may have changed but the characters remained the same. Yet there was a distinct difference. I was not the rookie parent in the room anymore. At four and half years into parenthood, I felt the confidence and swagger of an experienced veteran Dad. “Step aside rookie parents, Big Poppa’s in the house!” Yet my glorious self-coronation as King of all Dads would need to wait. My daughter threw down the gauntlet by declaring in no uncertain terms, “Daddy, I have a squishy diaper!”

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Reality Check

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At a recent workshop for parents, the topic of discussion was the Chinese tiger mother’s methods which everyone has been so excited about lately. I raised a question about the use of strict authority with children as compared to the American belief in freedom. One of the fathers spoke up first and immediately transferred the question to the workplace. He said he saw it as using the carrot and the stick and explained further that it would be impossible to use only the authority of the stick in today’s work world. To be successful you would also need the carrot.

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Balancing Act of Fatherhood

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I sometimes wake from a deep slumber without any predisposed thought to my current place in life. Time in effect is meaningless. I’m not a husband, father, or any other descriptive label assigned to define my existence. I’m just simply me. The guy trying to figure out the big picture. Then some sight or sound disrupts my stream of consciousness and much like a well oiled machine the disparate pieces of my existence click back into place forming the man I’ve become with all the inherent responsibilities as well as the joy of fatherhood. Certainly I’ve evolved as a Dad but yet I wonder if the uninhibited man of the past which continues to resurface during my early waking state shouldn’t still have a say at the table.

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